62 DAYS TO GO

Bedazzling is on hold. I should’ve fucking known better than to shop at Hobby Lobby… it goes against all my liberal principles to support a store who believes in denying health insurance funded birth control to its female employees. But it’s so close to my house and it’s got every goddamn craft item you could EVER want or need and/or didn’t even know you needed! Two days ago I got several small bags of crystal rhinestones and of course I misjudged how many it would take to bling out a competition bikini… The left boob now has about 200 beads on it now. It was time consuming, but it looks sooooo fucking amazing!!! I’m actually LIKING this tiny suit and cannot wait to see the finished project. So today with two tired, hungry kids in tow I headed back to Hobby Lobby for more stones and low and behold they still haven’t restocked the ones I need. Restock day is Wednesday evidently, and that’s still 4 days away! I called the other two locations and they had low stock as well, not worth the drive level low. Way to throw a serious wrench in my crafting you pious conservative assholes. I was on a roll and now nothing. Good news is I still have over 60 days to bedazzle, but it just sucks when you’re in a hardcore crafting mood and have no material.

Here’s a sneak peak of what I’m calling Ombré Shiny Tit… clear and iridescent crystals cascading down the purple hologram fabric. Many of the 200-300$ suits online look like this and I’m hoping this will help me to fit in, I mean, I’m hoping my body will also look in place on stage. Please don’t mind the pose, I’m attempting to look totally natural while facing my shoulders forward, twisting my waist to the side to make it appear a fraction of the size, sucking it in so as to show off my rib cage, and sticking my lateral glutes out for the judges to see. Practice makes perfect!!! I read on one posing tips article that actually  the more uncomfortable it feels, the better you likely will look. Yowsa. This feels like a legit difficult yoga pose to hit and hold. Namaste bitches!

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