IMG_5897Hobby Lobby doth provide!!! (Finally!!!) I actually called ahead and placed a hold on every bag of clear and iridescent 16ss rhinestone they were getting in on Wednesday. They called to let me know my crystals were ready and I pleasantly discovered they were now 50% off! Super score!!! This is the point where someone else would probably say something about that being God’s doing but I’m not that person. So today I was able to bedazzle the other breast of my top so I now have a full set of Ombré Shiny Tits. I really wanted to get to work on the bottoms (or lack there of) but first will need to deconstruct it to sew in my new rhinestone draped connectors I got for super cheap off Amazon.


Tiered Connectors

I ordered some jelly bra inserts to help make my moobs look a little more full and potentially fake like the rest of the competitors but its turned out to be a mega fail. First and foremost, the damn inserts are nearly twice the size of the bikini cup. So, I cut them down in attempt to make them fit thus exposing the gooey, sticky, and probably toxic material inside. To be honest, I don’t think it really made much of a difference so I might just toss them all together.


*SIDE NOTE: my skin was really breaking out last week, probably a good 10 days into eating super clean and drinking a ton more water. Being the nurse I am I tried to research why eating ridiculously healthy and increasing water intake (two things they always tell you to do for clear skin) was backfiring and causing cystic fucking acne on my chin and cheeks. All I could find was some hippy shit about toxins being flushed out, and I have to report now over 2 weeks into this I’m back to clear-ish. Maybe toxins are legit??? Hopefully it continues to improve because A) I’m too fucking old for this shit, B) I did Accutane already for acne years ago and thought I had moved on from those days and C) skin complexion is actually one of the judging criteria for the bikini contest! So get it together face!!! My period is coming up in another 6 days and that would be when I typically break out so we shall see what happens. I did read about broccoli and brussels sprouts in particular being members of the brassica family of veggies and how they help to remove excess estrogen from the blood stream thus helping improve your skin. I’m eating so much of these veggies every day I should be GLOWING in no time.


I’m currently on a 1500 calorie a day diet (which is what my body fat test revealed I need to lose 1 lb per week) and a lean muscle gaining macro plan of 45% carbs/35% protein/20% fat. Closer to competition day I’ll switch up the ratio with lower carbs to lose the remaining fat or “cut” a bodybuilding term for leaning way out. It’s crazy but 1500 calories seems pretty low but I’m finding I often have a hard time meeting my goal with all this clean eating. I end up supplementing with protein bars and shakes because they provide extra calories plus carbs and extra protein so I don’t actually have to eat an entire fucking live chicken a day. Not to mention they serve my sweet tooth, long ago I was a smoker and ever since quitting I find that I NEED something sweet post meals. 20% fat sounds like a lot too, right? Trust me, it’s not. Unlike the bikini pro girls, I cannot live on a diet of broccoli/chicken/sweet potato for every meal. I NEED FLAVOR!!!! So I’ve pecked around looking for dressings or seasonings to add to my roasted veggies and meat to help out. Turns out so many salad dressings are chalked full of fat…peanut butter, almond spread, avocado and even hummus, all these things I thought were pretty good for me are pretty high in fat content thanks to oil so add a tablespoon of Italian dressing here and there and boom! I’m practically at my limit for the day of fat intake. Ugh. For the 100th time I’ll ask myself, why the fuck did I sign on for this?



One thought on “57 DAYS TO GO

  1. Yes, God wants to make sure your boobs are perfectly shiny for your bikini contest. S/He works is mysterious ways.


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