63 DAYS TO GO

Back to bedazzle town. MAN, do I love a good crafting sesh. Let me tell you a little about the type of shit I get done during nap time. One summer, during my kids’ naps I completely redesigned our front yard, moving yards and yards of lava rock out, planting new succulent cuttings and installing a paved pathway. I initially looked at hiring a contractor and found no one would take a job this "small" so I enlisted my Enginerd husband's concrete expertise and voila! Our curb appeal is taking shape. Almost all the succulent clippings were from neighbors, my hubby poured the concrete himself, and I posted an ad on Craigslist and successfully got rid of all the white and red lava rock, making our front yard makeover so cheap. Well, I mean minus my sweat labor. read more...

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64 DAYS TO GO

This morning was my body fat test. I arrived in the parking lot of The FitLab at 6:25am and glanced over to see this little guy hitching a ride on my dash. Initially I thought he was dead, which seemed like a shitty omen to have a lizard choose your car to go die in, but turns out- he was just snoozing. It was a brisk 49 degrees out and he was kicked back on vacay sitting next to the heating vents just chillin’. So it was undoubtedly a rude awakening when I kicked his ass out onto the curb to head inside for my own rude awakening. Lucky for me, I had watched some YouTube videos last night about how the tank test works. First, get into a tiny, tight bikini, no air bubbles because air = fat. Second, I was to lay face down on top of this scale and basically blow out all of my air before completely submerging under water and staying still for several seconds while the technician gets your reading. It’s so counter-intuitive to blow air out instead of suck it in, but easy enough once you get the hang of it. We did it 4 times to make sure the reading was accurate, and then I got my clothes back on and headed to the office to go over my results, the really scary part. I don’t really know what I was expecting but I was pleasantly surprised when Sean told me that at my current height (5’5) and weight (125 lbs) my body fat percentage was at 16%. In order to reach my goal of becoming a bikini competitor I’ll need to get down to 10-12% and according to my print out from the test, lose anywhere from 6-9 lbs in the next 10 weeks. This part I’m not so sure about as I’m looking to put on a bit of muscle too and as we all remember from health class, muscle weighs more than fat. Anyway, whatever, it’s a great starting point and it's good to know where I stand. Sean, the owner of The FitLab told me this goal is totally attainable and one of the most important things to remember about bikini competitions is… nutrition? Exercise? Cardio? Protein? Nope, he said the most important thing is SHOWMANSHIP. Are you fucking kidding??? read more...