Happy Monday to you all!!!! Guess who’s 5 weeks into this 10 week contest prep and still 125 pounds? This gal!!! Oh well, no backing out now, I’ve got stripper heels en route to my house as we speak. And as they say, the show must go on.

I couldn’t take a poop today without an audience, so why would I be able to take a few pics solo? Silly mommy, privacy is for the childless.


race 3My girlfriends and I are heading up to Chino this weekend for the Warrior Dash race. That means packing for a long but super fun day. If you’re a mom and you’ve never run an OCR before there are some things you need to know. First and foremost, and potentially even more important than remembering to leave your wedding ring at home or risk losing it on the course, is to wear black work out pants or shorts. Every race will begin with a few small hurdles at the very beginning paired with a long run in order to separate the masses in each wave before the first major obstacle. If the hop over the 4-5 foot plywood walls didn’t get you, the run will definitely send your weak mommy bladder and urethra into a tail spin that ends with you full on pissing your pants. Which is why it’s detrimental to wear black to disguise the fact that you didn’t do as many Kegel exercises as Fit Pregnancy Magazine advised you to do during pregnancy. Don’t despair because soon you’ll fall in the cold water or have to crawl in knee-deep mud, which will help to further bury your shame. Gloves are optional but I’ve found that once they get wet, they are essentially useless and are just vessels to transport more mud and water. race 1If you’re serious you need to just build up your callouses doing rings, ropes, monkey bars and pull ups. The upside of being a woman with super gnarly calloused hands is that your spouse tends to ask for a whole lot less back rubs and so on, if you get my drift. You need to also pack some food because the one free banana and/or Clif bar they give you at the end of your 3+mile/20+ obstacles isn’t going to cut it and you’ll end up shit-housed on the one free beer and totally dehydrated. A change of clothes, including new bra and undies is a must along with your own towels and some jugs of warm water from home, this affords you the luxury of not having to rinse off in the ice-cold water from the riot hoses they offer post race. Lastly, don’t forget waterproof mascara and maybe some cream blush to apply to your cheeks and lips so you don’t look totally haggard after running your ass off in the mud and the muck.race

post race


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