This weekend my girls and I headed out early for the hour and a half drive north to Riverside County to run our first Warrior Dash race. This particular course was 3.3 miles through dense brush and trees with just 12 obstacles and while we had fun and got suuuuuper muddy, it was the general consensus that the more obstacles there are- the more fun it is. Less obstacles means more running in between each one. We could’ve just signed up for a fucking 5K for Epilepsy (Autism, Muscular Dystrophy, whatever, name your cause) because we were running so much. The obstacles were very doable too, if you are looking to get a beginner’s taste of what an obstacle course race looks like, the Warrior Dash might be a good bet.
Nothing was so difficult that we saw anyone passing on or even failing. Most obstacles required more bravery or strategy than actual brawn and strength. After the race you rinse off and change clothes and hop from free swag stand to free swag stand. We grabbed our horrible, fuzzy hats and race logo t-shirts, then hit the beer garden for our free beer. After that, free rum! There was quite an annoying spiel about how their rum is low carb, or did she say oak charred, who knows and who cares!? Free rum! I DID partake in the rum and Coke sampler and drank about half my beer before feeling somewhat lightheaded and guilty. I, of course, brought my own boring 4 oz chicken breast, 1-cup broccoli farts with a side dressing and a protein bar for kicks so I wouldn’t be starving post race and making bad decisions.
When I got home my kids were still sleeping so I got to enjoy a legit hot shower without 4 little eyes staring at me asking burning questions, such as, “Mommy why do you have hair on your ‘gina?” To top that, my son has been a Stage 5 Clinger these days. Not only will Dada simply not do, he looks at Dada as if he’s an ax murderer who drinks the blood of children, for fun. Leo wants to not just sit in my lap, it’s as though he cannot physically get close enough, like he wants back in the womb. He just keeps pressing and pushing and wriggling until he is on top of my bladder without an inch separating us. He then leans back in his mommy-recliner and takes a swig from his sippy cup and shows me the same four objects he knows the words for in his book over and over and over. You want a good method for weight loss? Have a 20 month old with a separation anxiety complex around at all meal times, he’ll sit right on top of your stomach every chance he gets, and your stomach is so compressed by his 25 lbs that you physically can’t eat, let alone enjoy a meal.
Lately it’s not uncommon for him to cry if he notices I’ve left the room for a moment, and leave him with a friend so I can run my oldest to the toilet? Oh heeeeelllllllll nah. He looks at the other mom like she’s about to kidnap him and sell him to child slavery and then screams so loudly that everyone around knows it. Much like sitting on the toilet with him in my lap, I know that this phase will eventually pass and he could very likely grow up to be the boy who won’t kiss me goodbye before he leaves for school. So I deal with it and try to encourage alone time with daddy and try my best to toughen him up and keep on dropping him at the YMCA day care for 45 minutes a day despite his resistance and when I pick them up I hug and kiss the shit out of him. I want him to grow up to be a good man who knows the value of a good woman and mother but not one who sabotages relationships because no woman will ever be as good as his “mommy” (which is true, but nobody likes a grown ass mama’s boy).
This week I embark on the last 4 weeks of this bikini competition prep. A friend of a friend, a fitness trainer and coach in Alaska reached out to me and offered up some solid nutrition planning for this final stretch: Carb Cycling. Is that a spin class you do after eating pasta? Barf. No. It’s a little trick the bodybuilding competitors use in to manipulate their plateaus. After reading endless articles and watching countless YouTube videos on carb cycling (everyone does it differently) here’s what I learned and what makes sense for me: My body, for the last 6 weeks, has been basically consuming the same boring 1500 calorie diet day in and day out. This is a caloric deficit that should have me losing one whole pound of fat per week (3500 calories = 1 lb fat). But after a while, your body catches on that you’re holding out on it, so it kind of stops giving up the fat stores so easily, hence a plateau.
What’s to be done about this becasuse I’m 4 weeks out and I certainly don’t look anywhere near an NPC bikini pro yet? Enter a carb cycling routine, one where for a certain number of days you lessen your caloric and carb intake, only to throw in a higher carb and calorie day thus tricking your body. So these high carb days your body is stoked, it has all this extra fuel to burn (think sweet potatoes and whole grains) and you’re working out and lifting heavy weights and happy as a clam… buuuuuut the next day you deprive your body of those extra carbs and calories (you still eat of course but it’s much less carbs and calories) and your body FREAKS out!!! It’s like “Shit!!! Yesterday we had all those carbs as fuel! Today we got squat! We’re just going to have to burn some old fat stores instead!” score one for your brain’s victory- your body becomes a fat burning machine.
Or so I’ve read, I’m only on day two so nothing’s really happened yet.
But I’m hoping this is the final trick to really tightening up my mid-section and shedding any remaining fat stores around my belly and hips so I can better fit in on stage in 25 days. After a shit ton of mind-melting math and tweaking, here’s the plan I’ve devised to make this carb cycling thing work for me. Because I work out every Monday/Wednesday/Friday I’ve made these my HI CARB days. When I’m at my work and home on the weekends, these will be my LOW CARB days. Lucky family and patients will get the mean ass Nicki who is eating just 65 grams of carbs all day and 1300 calories. Moooohoooohaaaahaaa! Today I wrapped up my first HI day and it was kind of exhausting it seemed like sooooo much food. I had to break my breakfast into two sittings as well as my lunch. It was like a full time job of eating. But again, if it’s the key that unlocks the remaining fat stores I’m ready to give it a solid try since time is of the essence at this point in the game!
Oh I almost forgot! Happy Monday! Here are this week’s progress pics.